Nowhere Bound

I’ve been told I’m a mystery wrapped in an enigma thus, I’m on some sort of cross country adventure that started in Michigan, is stalling in Colorado and gunning for…no idea. Until I get a new blog rolling, I’ll be posting updates here.

29. Reykjavik, Iceland

As of 8:50 a.m., May 23, 2011, this is where I’m headed. Thanks to the inconsiderate Grimsvotn volcano that decided to erupt right before my departure date, this plan may be revised.

28. London, England

Wish I had a photo of the woman trimming her beard at lunch. This over hyped government building will have to do.

27. Paipa, Colombia

Beautiful place. Lots of churches. Oodles of spirit.

26. Bogota, Colombia

Here’s a new one. Cane crossings.

25. Estes Park, Columbia, England, Colorado, Michigan, Europe, Michigan

Sounds like a suburban rap song, a little ditty about my life through the beginning of July. Can’t keep my feet still. Was in Estes this weekend. It was a small trip but enough to prompt an international spending spree.

Sunrise in Estes Park, Colo.

24. Stereotype

I was recently made fun of by some Brits who assume that because I’m from Colorado, I like country music. This whole project is cracking many of my stereotypes, but I have to perpetuate this one. I’m not that into country, but this is the view from my driveway. Neigh.

23. Return of the Loose Cannon

That would be me and I’m back from Abu Dhabi. Safe, yes. Sound…not so much but that’s not the fault of the UAE. I’m working on some additional adventures and will clue you in when I have more details. Abu Dhabi is beautiful if not insane.

22. Humps

Spent some time on a camel today. I’ll get the pic up when I get back to the states. Waiting to interview Kelly Slater. In Abu Dhabi. Life is crazy.

21. Classics

I am now living by John Lennon and Beethoven. As expected, they’re brilliant but moody.

20. Home is Where the Sun Is

Just 55 and sunny. Standard Colorado day. Yep, I’m home. Visitors always welcome.

19. Too Dead to Haunt

Went on a ghost hunt in Tennessee. Battle of Stones River battlefield. Only person on the premise. Everyone else inside, afraid of the “ice storm.” No ghosts. Just bitter cold beauty.

18. Fire in the Den

I thought my car was on fire so I hit the nearest exit and wouldn’t you know, this is where I ended up. Seriously. No gas station, nothing. Just the Den.

Turns out my car wasn’t on fire. Overreaction.

17. I Heart Colorado

Though this a totally unflattering picture, it exemplifies my love for Colorado. Jan. 12, 15 degrees, several inches of snow. Jan. 13, 60 degrees. Jan. 14, 55 degrees, snow nearly gone. Yes, I do have tan lines.

16. Anywhere Ft. Collins, Colo.

This explains so much doesn’t it? This stamp is all over the city and yes, Vogel is my maiden name. Ah, the humanity.

15. Peaches Not Pews

So I haven’t made it to church yet but I just returned from the Screamin’ Peach. Highly recommend it to all Colorado gals/guys. Two specialties: Playboy V and manzilians.

It’s difficult to get to church when there’s so many interesting things to do. This Sunday though…

14. Mac

The only question to be asked is…does “22” have special significance or are there 21 other Colorado license plates that start with “MAC?”

(We’ll just ignore the K)

13. Boomers

My dad just realized he’s a Baby Boomer. This is fantastic in so many ways but what I find most fascinating is that he’s in the middle of the Boomer generation. This is a very intelligent man. He knows he’s not X or Y so what the hell does that leave?

When asked where he fit, he said: “I don’t know. I never knew where I fit.”

Generation P?

12. 20, 11, 4, 23

Thirty minutes until 2011 and four chapters into a proposed 24 chapter novel. I’m thinking of people who promise to start it, whatever it is — weight loss, world peace, financial planning — by Jan. 1, 2011, a day of hangovers and greasy food. Very few will actually do it. It isn’t bound by a date, time, or obligation. It is it and you’re in or you’re out. That’s it, so think about it.

11. Headed for Culture Shock

Just got my first taste of the South. S-L-O-W. Should be interesting.

10. My Kind of Person

I want to meet the person responsible for naming the Alzheimer’s ward at my Grandma’s place.

It’s called: “Memory Lane.”

9. Rocky Mountain Haze

Everyone in this city is stoned, which explains the laissez faire approach to customer service.

8. Cafe, Ft. Collins, Colo.

Three women discussing their diamond rings, none of which are particularly awesome.

“I’m from the Midwest and in the Midwest this type of ring is like GINORMOUS. It’s a cultural thing. They really just wear bands out there. They don’t really do diamonds.”

7. Wynkoop Brewing Company, Denver, Colo.

Unattractive middle-aged man walking past a woman texting at the bar:

“I don’t have my phone on me so I’m not going to be able to answer you yet.”


6. Overheard

“Hyenas are a matriarchal society and the females have penises and they hump each other.”

“Middle Easterners don’t clean. I’m sorry. That’s profiling, but they don’t.”

5. Woman Walks Into an Applebee’s…

Man: You look like a white zin gal.

Woman: No. But I resemble roadkill so I understand the confusion.

4. It’s a Sign

Right after the Beaver Crossing exit in Iowa/Nebraska I saw the following billboard:

“Jesus…put your trust in him.”

It’s probably the only thing that gets those truckers through that stretch of I-80.

3. Kum & Go

Enough said.

2. Wal-Mart

Overheard at a bar in Council Bluffs, Iowa. “I never see you outside of Wal-Mart!”

1. If I lived in Nebraska…

I would cut corn in the summer.

I would cook meth and tip cows in the winter.

7 Responses to “N.B.”

  1. Mark_S said

    I just want to say that I have a Vogel Concrete stamp on the sidewalk in my neighborhood. I need a driveway ramp and sidewalk poured too if your pops does touch up work? The Mack22 is a reference to a .22 caliber submachine gun. You’re not much into guns I’m guessing? 🙂 An unarmed Michigan girl who’s suntanning in CO in January? Are you enjoying spending time with the folksters? It’s been forever since I’ve seen them(your graduation). Hope all is well w/ you and family. Let me know if you’re still accepting interviews for a guest blogger. I’ve always thought about blogging some time and I have a good dive bar review to write about too (A Hunt Club) and how it compares to the Larimer County Detention Facility. lol, ah the joys of being the bull in the china shop. Take it easy Ivy and have a good trip back to MI and a good year in ’11!

  2. thumpme said

    Machine gun? Never shot one, others yes. My dad sold his business a while ago, but my brother started a company and I’ll let him know. THE Hunt Club? That place…that’s a place.

  3. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Ivy Hughes, ThumpMe. ThumpMe said: I'm in Kansas – the state that never ends. Will post in a few hours. Happy Monday! […]

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