Family Meeting

November 16, 2010

Family meetings. Everyone has them. It’s time for ours.

You’re pushing back — rightly so — regarding yesterday’s emotional cop out. Why can’t/won’t I dig deeper into the New Testament? Why not examine it and myself more critically? Etc.

You’ve gotten to know me a bit through this blog, but I’m fairly good at hiding behind words. I mean my profile picture is a llama or an alpaca. Who can tell? I’ve never met the young woman on the masthead. I told you I hate Miracle Whip, am offended by Tex-Mex and wear contacts but what do you really know about me?

Time for some honesty. Right now I’m going through some stuff I cannot write about because it affects too many people. This is not a cop out. Actually, it would be easier for me to write about the situation. You know the relief you feel when you’re sick to your stomach and you finally vomit? That’s what happens when I write.

Believe me, I want to write about this. It would be a redemption of sorts but I can’t. My motives aren’t selfish. I’m not holding back to protect myself. In fact, let me lay out a few things that, until now, have been reserved for very close friends. This will make you pity me, hate me, distrust me, fear me, but it’s honesty, proof I don’t fear exposure, evidence that I want to be honest in this quest. Two things: I’ve had my stomach pumped twice and three years ago, I slit my wrist.

Two things got me through: Love and writing. If I were to write about the current situation, I would feel better but everyone else would feel worse. So it’s not an excuse, it’s just what it is. Bear with me on the New Testament. OK?

If you looked through the hole in my head, you’d see these are the scriptures (is that what they’re called?). Maybe they’ll provide more insight…

Scriptures (or whatevs)

“Why, then, do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the log in your own eye?”

“Go in through the narrow gate, because the gate to hell is wide and the road that leads to it is easy, and there are many who travel it. But the gate to life is narrow and the way that leads to it is hard, and there are few people who find it.”

“To have good fruit you must have a healthy tree; if you have a poor tree, you will have bad fruit.”

“Anything that goes in a person’s mouth goes into his stomach and then out of his body. But the things that come out of his mouth come from the heart, and these are the things that make a person ritually unclean.”

Two other observations

1. Matthew is a much better writer/story teller than Mark though Mark found a use for “sickle” and told a troubling story about dropping a paralyzed guy through a hole in a roof so his book isn’t a complete wash.

2. The parables clearly laid the foundation for 21st Century jokes. Did you hear the one about the 10 girls who took their lamps to a bridegroom? How about the one about the three servants and their coins? Or the one about the sower who sat in a boat? That’s a real side splitter.

I suppose this post is a parable. It’s the only way to explain yesterday’s haze but I believe substance will creep back in.

By the way, do not feel sorry for me. I’m medicated, I have faith this situation will work out (whatever that means) and I’m too old and tired for suicide.

On that note…have an uplifting day!

Stopping Point: Book of Mark, Jesus Feeds 5,000 Men

Advertisements

11 Responses to “Family Meeting”

  1. Ellenita said

    Keep trying and keep writing. They both mean so much to me!!! Ellenita

  2. Q. said

    I’ve been reading along (e-mail subscribed) and just wanted you to know — well, several things. But mostly, I wanted you to know you’re not alone in this stuff. And I admire your restraint in writing, because I know the feeling. I know the relief of words.

    Keep reading, keep writing, keep thinking and just keep going. Through this blog, I’ve become rather fond of you, whether I actually “know” you or not.

  3. TN Lizzie said

    “By the way, do not feel sorry for me. I’m medicated, I have faith this situation will work out (whatever that means) and I’m too old and tired for suicide.

    On that note…have an uplifting day!”

    I cannot let your last paragraph click off my computer screen without a comment. (Sorry, but I’m a Mama!)

    You mention suicide, and I am glad that you are too old and tired for it. Please hear me say that whatever is weighing on you is NOT as important as you are. I barely know you, and I care about you immensely – Those closer love you deeply, whether they say so or not.

    Way back in June, you read the book of Genesis. I read your post, and you kind’a skipped over the “In the beginning, God created…” part. Maybe you think me crazy, but I believe it. I believe that God created the world and critters and people. He knit me together (so I read in Psalm 139) and I’ve been told that He doesn’t make junk. There is value in all that He created.

    I believe that includes you, and I felt led to say so. ((((((hugs)))))) and something yummy and warm from Starbucks c(S) to go with Brownies topped with Hershey’s Hugs [O] [O] [O] [O] [O] [O].

    I do believe that my favorite verse is Psalm 34:8 which says, “O taste and see that the Lord is good!”

    Which translation are you reading? And, to answer an earlier question, I am so far west in TN that I can wade in the river!

  4. marg said

    Just some simple encouragement (I hope):Keep on keeping on.

  5. Kevin Shaw said

    Courageous stuff to write, IH. Thanks for laying it out there. Plenty of Grace from me as you work thru the NT, and even more Grace from God!

  6. thumpme said

    Thanks for the support. All will be well though.

  7. […] 17, 2010 I should write about suicide and sex all the time. They’re huge sellers. That being said, the honesty of yesterday’s post […]

  8. […] four men give a version of the gospel. You can glean anything you want from any of them. I think Matthew is dry, Mark is dark and Luke is wonderful. His writing is interesting and he details good old family […]

  9. […] others – is one reason I hate church as a walled institution. It’s the same reason I’m fairly anti-marriage – people get too caught up in flowers, budgets, color schemes and board games to think about what […]

  10. […] four men give a version of the gospel. You can glean anything you want from any of them. I think Matthew is dry, Mark is dark and Luke is wonderful. His writing is interesting and he details good old family […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: