“The Lord Has Heard Your Whining”

June 28, 2010

Today’s piece is a write-as-I-read number. I’m in a FANTASTIC mood and want to see if reading the Bible while irritated shows any measurable results. Many people think yes, good for all moods.

Generally when I see the world in varying shades of shit I do the following:

  1. Run until I feel like vomiting (can’t do it, foot is still a mess)
  2. Punch or kick something (nice little mix of German/Italian blood, already did it, didn’t work)
  3. Shutdown (did it, obviously opening back up)

Today we’re going thumper style. I’m reading Numbers. We’ll see how far I get. Looks pretty dense, but fitting since it’s about “people who were often discouraged and afraid in the face of hardship.” Substitute anger for fear and there I am.

I’m three pages in and I already feel better as the Lord has just affirmed that first borns are the best. He chose them as his No. 1s. They got things started and then the second/third borns what have you, took over. Typical.

The details in this chapter — numbers, ages, rituals — are a bit annoying, but the rhythm of reading something and letting it pass through one eye and out the other without any pause for thought is rather soothing. I suppose this zombie-like repetition has modern appeal as it compliments much of 21st Century fiction. (It should be noted that I loved Nora Roberts when I was in fifth grade. She gives some  great tutorials about the synchronicity of bells and whistles.)

I’ve reached the “Lord Sends Quails” section. The correlating drawing of people chasing quail is amazing. I can’t find this drawing on the web, but this little nugget relates to one of my favorite national political headlines of 2006, the year Mr. Dick Cheney shot one of his supporters while quail hunting.

Oddly enough, the rest of the piece is about whiners and how they should stop pissing and moaning. Oh so appropriate given my state of mind. The people spent so much time complaining that God gave Moses a complaint department of 70 people and devoted two sections — “The People Complain” and “The Lord Punishes the People for Complaining” — to the matter. Punishments for complaints include death, 40 years of suffering, abandonment in the wilderness, fire, being swallowed by the earth, plague and attack by poisonous snakes.

Message received.

Did the turn-to-the-Bible experiment work? I suppose. The coincidence is rather interesting and did improve my mood. Maybe in a few weeks I’ll give this another try and measure results.

Question. I’m writing this from the Michigan State University (MSU) library. Do men really use the stacks to relieve certain tensions? That’s just fantastic.

Stopping Point: Numbers 27


3 Responses to ““The Lord Has Heard Your Whining””

  1. […] of Chronicles summarized about four previous books, I was pretty irritated. As I mentioned in “The Lord has Heard Your Whining” and “Touchdown!”, I find the details in the Bible painfully unnecessary. Or I […]

  2. […] since Friday — the second infection I’ve had since surgery in May — and since my ortho was in surgery and his partner told me I could either “wait until tomorrow” and see my doctor or “go to the […]

  3. […] He sure does. I dozed off during today’s reading. I blame Gog, a man with an interesting name and dull tale. When I woke up I thought, “What the hell am I going to write about today? All I’ve got is Gog.” […]

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